[Post 1] badjokesbyjeff
A elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.
"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
[Post 2] badjokesbyjeff
Jokes aside, personally I only have two requests for when I die. I want my remains scattered around Disneyland, and I don't want to be cremated.
The second joke is so old it doesn't even qualify for joke stealing but grave robbing.