This is going to sound like I’m making fun of your desire to crossdress
Nah, your fine. I didn't think that.
But really, fuck anyone that judges your style in the way you're describing. I get it, one does want to fit in, and I'm just as guilty of it in my post. But do remember that people that judge you for your looks fucking suck, and they're doing you a favour by telling you upfront how terrible they are. But if you need to fit in to survive, I understand.