Yeah but this hangup is also disconnected from the actual reality of living in socialist societies outside of their most turbulent times. The United States is already the most surveilled society and it doesn't effect most people; only political actors working against the status quo and those recruited by intelligence agencies to shoot up a mall. As well, friends snitching on friends, it's reminiscent of only a short era of Soviet history that's often highly exaggerated.
However I can't blame you for your hangups, except to say that after talking to comrades in multiple different existing socialist nations, I simply don't have them anymore. If you ever get the chance to talk to communists in real communist parties, I think your worries will fade away. They're largely like all the punks and progressives I know in my life if they were simply given the political education and support to make their society better. I can't guarantee this is true in all cases, clearly, but socialist governance is far more humane and elevates far better members of society than the bourgeois governance we're both used to. It really does set the stage for a better humanity.