▲ 821 ▼ Lemmy is the best social media (lemmy.zip) submitted 2 years ago by Maven@lemmy.zip to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world 424 comments fedilink hide all child comments
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Hexbear defederated blahaj.zone, actually. Here is the original thread going over why. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) The fuck is a chaser? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Here's a good reddit thread over on r/asktransgender. Chasers are dangerous to the trans community and turn people into fetish objects, rather than recognizing them as people. It ignores the desires of trans individuals who wish to be seen as the gender they identify with and explicitly chases trans individuals for their being trans. Ie, a transwoman is pursued for being a transwoman and not for being a woman. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children) Hey that was me back when I had a kbin account. I'm the account in the screenshot. That was a direct response to someone asking if I would have sex with a trans man. I got accused of being a chaser for saying "sure, I guess, pre-transition" (the first part) and being a transphobe for saying "but I'm not sexually attracted to dicks" (the second part). Note those two accusations are more or less mutually exclusive, but it doesn't matter because they're both deeply, incredibly stupid accusations. The mods and admins of blahaj pointed out how incredibly stupid the accusations were, and some people didn't like being called stupid, so they went back to hexbear. And continued to be stupid. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children) To use an analogy, imagine you're fat and trying to lose weight. Someone admits they are attracted to you, "sure, as long as you're still fat". Can you see how this would not be a good basis for a healthy relationship? You could even say it is a sign of a "chubby chaser". Likewise for transness. Also, people are overly sensitive because being denied full/legitimate relationships is a frequent pain point for trans people (esp trans women). The classic trope is the boyfriend who will take you on dates but refuse to introduce you to his friends/relatives. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (3 children) To be clear, being a chaser is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Objection@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago A chaser is someone who fetishizes and objectifies trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) The fuck is a chaser? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Here's a good reddit thread over on r/asktransgender. Chasers are dangerous to the trans community and turn people into fetish objects, rather than recognizing them as people. It ignores the desires of trans individuals who wish to be seen as the gender they identify with and explicitly chases trans individuals for their being trans. Ie, a transwoman is pursued for being a transwoman and not for being a woman. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children) Hey that was me back when I had a kbin account. I'm the account in the screenshot. That was a direct response to someone asking if I would have sex with a trans man. I got accused of being a chaser for saying "sure, I guess, pre-transition" (the first part) and being a transphobe for saying "but I'm not sexually attracted to dicks" (the second part). Note those two accusations are more or less mutually exclusive, but it doesn't matter because they're both deeply, incredibly stupid accusations. The mods and admins of blahaj pointed out how incredibly stupid the accusations were, and some people didn't like being called stupid, so they went back to hexbear. And continued to be stupid. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children) To use an analogy, imagine you're fat and trying to lose weight. Someone admits they are attracted to you, "sure, as long as you're still fat". Can you see how this would not be a good basis for a healthy relationship? You could even say it is a sign of a "chubby chaser". Likewise for transness. Also, people are overly sensitive because being denied full/legitimate relationships is a frequent pain point for trans people (esp trans women). The classic trope is the boyfriend who will take you on dates but refuse to introduce you to his friends/relatives. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (3 children) To be clear, being a chaser is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Objection@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago A chaser is someone who fetishizes and objectifies trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Here's a good reddit thread over on r/asktransgender. Chasers are dangerous to the trans community and turn people into fetish objects, rather than recognizing them as people. It ignores the desires of trans individuals who wish to be seen as the gender they identify with and explicitly chases trans individuals for their being trans. Ie, a transwoman is pursued for being a transwoman and not for being a woman. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children) Hey that was me back when I had a kbin account. I'm the account in the screenshot. That was a direct response to someone asking if I would have sex with a trans man. I got accused of being a chaser for saying "sure, I guess, pre-transition" (the first part) and being a transphobe for saying "but I'm not sexually attracted to dicks" (the second part). Note those two accusations are more or less mutually exclusive, but it doesn't matter because they're both deeply, incredibly stupid accusations. The mods and admins of blahaj pointed out how incredibly stupid the accusations were, and some people didn't like being called stupid, so they went back to hexbear. And continued to be stupid. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children) To use an analogy, imagine you're fat and trying to lose weight. Someone admits they are attracted to you, "sure, as long as you're still fat". Can you see how this would not be a good basis for a healthy relationship? You could even say it is a sign of a "chubby chaser". Likewise for transness. Also, people are overly sensitive because being denied full/legitimate relationships is a frequent pain point for trans people (esp trans women). The classic trope is the boyfriend who will take you on dates but refuse to introduce you to his friends/relatives. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (3 children) To be clear, being a chaser is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children) Hey that was me back when I had a kbin account. I'm the account in the screenshot. That was a direct response to someone asking if I would have sex with a trans man. I got accused of being a chaser for saying "sure, I guess, pre-transition" (the first part) and being a transphobe for saying "but I'm not sexually attracted to dicks" (the second part). Note those two accusations are more or less mutually exclusive, but it doesn't matter because they're both deeply, incredibly stupid accusations. The mods and admins of blahaj pointed out how incredibly stupid the accusations were, and some people didn't like being called stupid, so they went back to hexbear. And continued to be stupid. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children) To use an analogy, imagine you're fat and trying to lose weight. Someone admits they are attracted to you, "sure, as long as you're still fat". Can you see how this would not be a good basis for a healthy relationship? You could even say it is a sign of a "chubby chaser". Likewise for transness. Also, people are overly sensitive because being denied full/legitimate relationships is a frequent pain point for trans people (esp trans women). The classic trope is the boyfriend who will take you on dates but refuse to introduce you to his friends/relatives. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (3 children) To be clear, being a chaser is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children) To use an analogy, imagine you're fat and trying to lose weight. Someone admits they are attracted to you, "sure, as long as you're still fat". Can you see how this would not be a good basis for a healthy relationship? You could even say it is a sign of a "chubby chaser". Likewise for transness. Also, people are overly sensitive because being denied full/legitimate relationships is a frequent pain point for trans people (esp trans women). The classic trope is the boyfriend who will take you on dates but refuse to introduce you to his friends/relatives. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) So yeah, I can see why a queer friendly instance would defederate an instance whose admins promote/defend that sort of rhetoric. Hexbear might have jumped the gun (as I told them at the time- the turnaround time was less than 24 hours and the head admin had no chance to respond) but the blahaj admins weren't great either permalink fedilink source parent
[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) Some people like being fat. Some people like being women. A person who likes bobs and vagene entering a committed relationship with a trans man would be toxic. Ditto for a person who likes fat people entering a committed relationship with someone who is trying to lose weight. That said, firstly, I don't see anything wrong with a one-night stand in either of those scenarios, which is what the original question was, and secondly, more importantly, you'd have to stretch really hard to say that a person who's into a little chub and a person who's perfectly happy having a little chub entering a committed relationship is in any way problematic. OP is into women. If anyone unironically tries to call someone a pussy-chaser I'm going to recommend them for commitment. OP saying he'd have sex with a trans man who hadn't transitioned yet is no different than a lover of booty saying they'd have sex with someone who hadn't lost weight yet. Sure, it might be a little confusing and/or disheartening for his potential sexual partner to be told that he likes them for the one aspect of themselves that they're working to change, but if it's only for one night, and that person otherwise has a good support network, and, most importantly, it's two consenting adults, I don't see the harm. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Ok I went and looked it up, the original question in the screenshot was about specifically dating and specifically trans men. Not a one night stand, and not someone who likes being a woman permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness. Yeah, if you're deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That's not at all what that means. In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be "that makes me feel bad" and NOT "you are a bad person". Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it's triggering for you, then it's on you to manage your response, not lash out. Also, people are overly sensitive Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn't pretend it's not a thing. My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child) It's not just being attracted, it's being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That's the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it's not toxic to criticize it. I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it's impossible to say if they're bad or not. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic Wait So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a "chaser"?? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it's a classic feminist talking point. The "chaser" label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it's def not just cishet men who are capable of it. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago Wow. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (3 children) To be clear, being a chaser is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) How is it not transphile? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Because chasers undermine the expressed gender identity of trans individuals for the sake of their own sexual pleasure. Calling it "transphilic" is just semantical wordplay that dismisses the inherently predatory nature of chasers. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) I don't get it. How is it undermining that and not affirming? I mean to fetishise a group is wrong, I get that and that is also my opinion but if they want to fuck a transwoman they want that because she is a woman which affirms the womanhood? And the point is how is it transhate if you like the trans aspect specifically. Doesn't make sense to me. It is not a wordplay it is what those words mean. Phobic means something like hate or fear and phile means something like love or attraction. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago The poor thing thinks words mean whatever they decide they mean. They're not capable of explaining their position in an intelligent way, either. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) No, chasers are people that specifically fetishize transwomen or transmen for being trans. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) Hmm okay. But the I still don't understand how it is transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent
[–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you see why fetishizing black people for their skin coloris racist? Its similar to that. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 0 points 2 years ago I can see that. But that wouldn't be "negrophobic" either. Not everything negativ in the context of a group is phobia. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) You don't understand how undermining someone's gender identity by focusing on them being trans over them being their expressed gender is transphobic? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child) No. Edit: as phobic means you want to get away from something or don't want it to exist. Fetishising is the exact opposite. If someone is arachnophobic that doesn't mean he wants to fuck a spider or undermine the identity of the spider. That someone wants the spider be gone because it is a spider. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (2 children) Fetishizing is also phobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent [–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Iapar@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago (1 child) This whole exchange could be more productive if you could explain your opinions. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (2 children) They're arguing that being sexually attracted to something is a phobia, the definition of which is having an irrational fear of something. Do you really think this person has the ability to string enough words together to justify their opinion? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Iapar@feddit.de 1 point 2 years ago I hoped so. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Did you read the original reddit thread? Chasers are dangerous to the trans community. It isn't about being attracted to trans individuals, it's about specifically seeking them out for being trans and fetishizing them being trans. Can you not see how this may look if you are the trans person in this relationship? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) What do you think the word "phobia" means, just out of interest? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) I'm not stupid, I know it means "fear of." Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? What abiut transphobes? In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. Literally talk to a trans person, or just read through that thread, it isn't difficult. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago (1 child) Do you think Homophobes are "afraid" of gay people? Yes. What abiut transphobes? Also yes. In the context of bigotry, phobia is used to refer to invalidating or undermining ones sexuality, gender identity, etc. That is the outcome of the irrational fear people feel towards those people. Someone attracted to trans people because they are trans would be transphilic, not transphobic. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml -1 points 2 years ago (1 child) Talk to trans people about how they feel about lumping anti-trans views into the "transphile" category because rather than being hated outright, chasers simply prey on trans individuals and undermine their gender identity in a sickeningly fetishizing way. Just touch grass. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago This is the most bizarre stand I've seen someone take online, and that's really saying something. Phobic means an irrational fear or disgust off something, these people are clearly neither afraid or disgusted of trans people. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) You're really gonna have to start writing more than one sentence per comment if you want anyone here to know what the fuck you're on about permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 years ago I wrote a lot more than 1 sentence in the beginning and linked a good thread with a bunch of trans individuals discussing said topic. They aren't adding anything, just playing semantics with philic vs phobic. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/phobia It doesn't sound like they're afraid to me? permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago Someone upvoted this idiotic take, and whoever it was, I'm disappointed in you. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago Sure, depending on how you define chaser, but it's not applicable here. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 0 points 2 years ago It sounds like the polar opposite to me. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago A chaser is someone who fetishizes and objectifies trans people. permalink fedilink source parent