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Apologies for giving you a boring canned answer when you are sleep-deprived and looking for help. But I swear these things really helped me.
Number one: think about getting a sleep study done by an actual sleep doc (pulmonary doc or neurologist). This was life changing for me. Don't go to a chiropractor or whoever the fuck and get a CPAP machine.
Also, and this is important: Have you looked into tips for "sleep hygiene"? None of them are a quick fix like Xanax, but they can be powerful when used together.
These include things like:
And when you have trouble sleeping, it's a very good idea to get out of bed, go to a different room (one that is not too bright) and do something boring like read a text book for 15-20 minutes then go back to bed and try again.
When we stay in bed and aren't sleeping, we're training our brain that it's OK to do that. You want to beat it into your subconscious brain that the bed / bedroom is for sleeping.
To add to the 'canned answers' here is one more:
As non medication, Magnesium has a muscle relaxation effect. With a big cup of water before going to sleep it could help falling asleep. (Tho make sure you are using the right kind of magnesium pill that actually gets absorbed into the body)
Magnesium threonate cured my insomnia, it's fucking wild how well it works. I'd tried everything until I discovered it, from melatonin, to antihistamine sleeping pills, all the way to downing 350ml of whiskey every night just to force sleep.
Magnesium works better than every single thing I've tried (but you HAVE to let yourself fall asleep when you feel it starting to work.)