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Advice on finding a partner? (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I don't want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure there's the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess it'll come to me.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Do you like dogs (Or cats, I guess)? The animal rescue I volunteer with skews heavily towards women. Help some animals, make some friends.

Of course, don't just do it to meet women. If current me had some relationship advice for younger me, it would be to be patient and just make sure you're out there doing things you actually like doing. And be interesting, which, comes from getting out into the world and doing things you like.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Interesting to whom?

A lot of us have interests and interesting lives, but unless those interests carrying social currency in your data demographic, they aren't going to make you attractive. e.g. I don't like travel very much, and it's the #1 thing women in my area are interested in, so it makes me very undesirable. They could care less about my interests in literature and art, because it isn't anything they can use to boast about to their girlfriends.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

I can assure you there are many women out there who aren't picking men just so they can brag about their interests. If your concern is trying to find a partner, making negative, sweeping generalizations about women isn't going to work in your favour.

I mean "interesting," as in, have some depth, be passionate about things. I don't think it matters if it's sky diving or stamp collecting, just don't make "getting girls" your thing. There are people, and for a time I was among them, who just do things because they think that's what's going to woo the ladies. But, how interesting is that?

I'll grant you that some interests may be more conducive to meeting potential partners, but surely there's something you care about that has some aspect that can get you out of the house. I like computers and I also don't care to leave the house. It turns out, I love computers enough that I will tolerate going to conferences and meetups. 🤷‍♂️