chapotraphouse

"Mr. President... Um... Ah... I strongly suggest you do not wear those shorts to the Almost Summer Get Out the Youth Vote! rally."

"I know - I know. Some of my aides think it's not presidential for me to show my bare old legs to America. But the old dogs are like me. They need some sun and I want reach out to the young folks and they show lots of skin. Trust me - I look at them. A lot. Tan. Firm. Young. Soft. Tan. Very tan. The tan girls with their taunt young sweet—"

"We feel your American flag shorts are are not appropriate."

"I heard all the complaints. But America needs me. She needs me. And I need her. I love America. We all gotta love America. Like we did before. Before. You. know. when? Strom Thurmond as a man... was a man..." he trials off into unintelligibility and gibberish for about 10 seconds. He snaps back "He loved America too!"

"We also feel beyond the flag problem there's another problem... It's a delicate problem... I don't know how to... What I mean—"

"Get to the point. Speak clearly. Out with it. Now."

"Well... They look like... diapers."

The next day the president goes out in his flag diaper shorts and with literally less than a minute #BidenFlagDiapers has been created. By the end of the hour it's trending. Within about a week Biden's poll numbers have fallen 10% and pundits are demanding an immediate reboot to save his dying campaign.