Tom Swifty Jokes

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A place to share and appreciate Tom Swifty jokes.

Rules:

  1. No bigotry allowed.

  2. Put the whole joke in the title.

  3. If posting a joke taken from elsewhere, cite the source and trim links of any metadata.

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26
1
"According to my cat, it's dinnertime," said Tom purposefully. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC

27
1
"The whole company was found guilty of criminal activity", Tom said with firm conviction. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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28
1
"What are your plans for this roast chicken?" said Tom, trying to keep abreast. (midwest.social)
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OC, first posted

29
2
"I take joy in the triumphs of my parishioners," said Tom vicariously. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

30
3
"Even though we 'broke up', she's still my woman!" Tom exclaimed. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

31
1
"Oh, I eat everything," said Tom in jest. (midwest.social)
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OC, first posted

32
1
"Biden is twice the man that Charles is!", Tom said half-jokingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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33
1
"Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

34
2
"The French don't deserve our thanks!" said Tom mercilessly. (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

35
1
"Just being allowed to come in is something that I cherish", Tom said enterprisingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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36
1
"My name is actually spelled T-O-O-O-M," he said, morosely. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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OC, first posted

37
2
"Should I take the worm off the hook?", Tom was debating (midwest.social)
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38
1
"Can't talk. Busy camping." replied Tom, intent. (midwest.social)
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OC, first posted at https://www.reddit.com/r/TomSwifty/comments/dl2ds0/cant_talk_busy_camping_replied_tom_intent

39
1
"Under the mask, I was just a bowl of noodles the entire time!" said the imposter. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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This is the first one I wrote since the reddit blackout.