all 11 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 19 points 2 days ago

Did he meed JD Vance recently?

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 2 days ago (5 children)

    isn't that interfering with God's divine plan?

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 2 days ago (4 children)

    A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

    "Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

    "No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

    Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

    "Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

    Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

    After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

    "Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

    Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

    And, predictably, he drowns.

    A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

    God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago (3 children)

    "I wanted no floods. Guess you're not omniscient, either, if you didn't see that coming."

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)
  • [–] 5 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Yeah, definitely a whole book of the Bible about how much of a jerk God is. Can't exactly blame Job for not taking the boats.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago

    I mean, he took the boat. I just wouldn't have. There also might be a Marxist (science) angle to analyze how Job relies on knowledge from a privileged life thanks only to his former wealth, while if he had the same mind but was self-made instead (I'm assuming he wasn't cuz 500 BC) he may have buckled.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 2 days ago (3 children)

    I know I'm being a bit paranoid here, but considering he's relatively healthy for his age, I'm suspicious to see the Pope with a tumor

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments