Im in this picture and I don't like it

Seems to be real. I can only imagine how much it would cost to have that hand-carved by an artisan today. $50K? That is, if it was hand-carved. It very well might be CNC routed, it's my guess that it was. 5-axis 3d milling of a large statue.

your weekend plan is to become a wooden horse decoration on a staircase

I'm not even pretending to have an interesting weekend anymore. If someone asks me, I'll say "Sitting on couch in my underwear, drinking beer and playing videogames". Some may say it's sad, but I enjoy it to be disconnected from the outer world now and then.

I 100% expect there to be something like this in the world, but I'm afraid that the left picture is AI.

The pillars have differences and odd edges.

Bro can afford plans every weekend