Comcrap Slaveway Krueger Home Despot

Jimmy Johns: similar to Pei Wei & PF Chang's, there is a fancier, more expensive version of the restaurant named James Jonathan.

Fiat: Fix It Again Tony 🤌🏻🤌🏻

Google: it used to be an in joke with my friends to say "giggle it" instead of google it. Now we don't use google of course...

Best Buy: Worst Buy

Target: it is pronounced "tar-jay" because it is the fancy version of Walmart

711 was a part time job!

Electronic Farts

Cockstar Games

Ubibad (pronounced You Be Bad)

Micro$haft (pre-MicroSlop era)

Nintendon't (thank you, SEGA)

Jizzard-Gotnovision

I mean microslop is pretty dang good

Swasticar

Samsung --> Samsucks

PlayStation --> PayStation (Not a company name, but close enough)

I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man's Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like "to the chariot"

There's a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it's also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.

When I had a Samsung TV, I hated it intensely and printed a label that said "scamsung." That TV eventually went to the recyclers with that label still covering the Samsung one.

McDonalds→McDicks→McPenis. I'm mature.

"Home Despot" is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn't.

The American embassy for McDonalds

Found On Road Dead

Just Empty Every Pocket

Fix It Again Tony

Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck

Walmart is its own insult.

Charbucks

There’s a trucking company called Swift that gets a lot of flak for hiring inexperienced drivers. One of the nicer ones is So What I Failed Training. The rudest one I’ve heard ends with Toddlers, you can probably work out the rest, but you probably shouldn’t.

Nintendon't on account of their rabid intellectual property protection and litigious nature.

Works as both what they might say to would-be infringers as well as advice to avoid them. (Which people ignore because Zelda, Mario and childhood memories.)

I sometimes call McDonalds „The Gilded Seagull Inn“

How Not To Build

Food court near me named Choices gets called "Chances".

Pontiac stands for Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It's A Cadillac.

McDoogles and Brogger Krog for mcds and burger king. Not sure why..

McDeath

Burger Death

Needless Markups

Ford = Found On Road Dead

Dodge (n.) - To avoid

Some friendlier ones. There was once an expensive camera brand called "Exakta" but Exakta owners affectionately called them "Approxima".

I worked near a slightly fancy Chinese restaurant called Royal East but my coworkers (who went there often) liked to call it "Royal Eats".

There was a nearby supermarket called Purity Supreme but people called it Poverty Supreme. That was waaaay before Whole Foods.

Amherst, Massachusetts was sometimes anagrammed to "Hamster". I mean you could address letters that way and they'd get there.