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[–] 55 points 3 years ago (9 children)

Lmao i love how we already have lemmy lore

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  • [–] 10 points 3 years ago (4 children)
  • [–] 39 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (11 children)

    Why is this a meme now 😭

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  • [–] 10 points 3 years ago (3 children)
  • [–] 5 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    Because it's hilarious, especially with no context. You shouldn't share things on the Internet you don't want made into memes.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    I mean.. I don't mind. It's an honour to be part of the Lemmy lore.

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  • [–] 25 points 3 years ago* (4 children)

    One time me and my girlfriend (now wife) went to visit my grandparents at their winter home in Texas. I say home, but it was just their RV that they drove down in the winter to avoid the snow. Anyway, It didn't want to blow up the RV with a huge steamy log, so I held it in for a few days. On the night of the 4th day, we ended up going to a swimming pool. While changing into my swimsuit in the locker room, I realized they had nice toilets there and it would be a good opportunity to unload.

    I don't know what I was expecting, but for some reason I wasn't planning on 4 days worth of shit coming out at once. Not like soft, mushy turds, but one big strong firm log that just kind of piled up in the bowl like a shit pile pyramid.

    I tried to give it a courtesy flush before I wiped, as is my custom, but that puppy was too big to go down. Seeing it was in a public toilet, it's not like I had a plunger or anything. I tried flushing a few more times, but the water was getting dangerously high in the bowl and I didn't want to deal with a turd water tsunami. So I had no choice but to leave it and duckwalk over to another stall where I could wipe my asshole before fleeing the scene.

    So yeah. I guess my apologies to whoever had to eventually deal with that at the Brownsville Texas RV park circa 2005.

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    [–] 20 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Who's hyped for no poop July?

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  • [–] 19 points 3 years ago

    Lemmy's collective 2.9 day turtle head poking out is gonna be epic

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  • [–] 19 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    One time I was at a camp in 7th grade for a week (a religious Christian camp) where my friend and I were NOT religious, so we were being bullied. I was so deathly afraid of getting bullied while taking a shit that I didn't poop until the 6th day. I honestly barely remember it but I snuck out in the night just to take a shit, and it was absolutely horrendous. Pretty sure it felt like trying to pass a big old hard fruit or something, it was the worst and took forever. 2/10 Do not recommend.

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  • [–] 18 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Congratulations, guys. This is officially Lemmy lore.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 years ago (7 children)

    i unironically shit like once a week, maybe two times a week max. so i don't understand what the fuss is all about

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    [–] 12 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    I hate turc style toilets. And as a son of Moroccan immigrant we always went to Morocco 2 months a year. We were alternating between my grandmother's house (with turc style toilets) and our house (Western style toilets) every 3 or 4 days. I've always tried my best to take a dump in our house. But for some reason we once stayed at my grandmother's house for like 10 days. It was horrible to live through. I made the trip back to our house just to unload myself. A fricking log came out. Very very painful. As I was losing weight, I stopped in the middle of it because I felt different kind of pain. I was fricking bleeding. So I finished very painfully and I took my time to not do more damage. It was still hurting avec a week. TL;DR : I bled from my anus because I'm afraid of turc style toilets.

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    [–] 11 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    Pop some opioids, gets you to day 2 with ease.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 years ago

    my bunghole, it hurt

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  • [–] 8 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Did you know pooping is actually illegal in Montana on Tuesdays?

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  • [–] 6 points 3 years ago (11 children)

    I still need to know the details on this.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 years ago

    Very err high pressure situation there bob

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago

    Please no. I don't want Lemmy to lose its "have never sent someone to the hospital" streak.

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