You're what we call in the business a "fair weather friend without a shovel".

"I'll help you bury this body if you book an appointment with a therapist."

Looks like two bodies and I need to reevaluate who I think a true friend is!

Th-The help someone needs? In this in country, in this economy, right away, and on a regular ongoing basis‽ Even sillier after a life-in-prison crime.

Not that the phrase is great.

IDK last time I buried a body my friend brought over his backhoe so we could make quick work of it.

But the help I need is getting rid of this body ...

If my ride-or-die came to me with a dead body, I'd first want to hear how justified they were. Maybe the corpse deserved it. But if, like, they installed Temple OS, started talking to god, and ranting about purging demons from people with an axe, I would be trying to figure out how to surreptitiously call the cops.

You're talking about general character not level of friendship.

They would do both

I’m not going to prison for anyone.

Wow, judgy.

Damn. I would have posted this to unpopular opinions if I knew how controversial covering up murder would be.

True friends wouldn't ask a friend to help them a body to cover up a crime, but they might ask for help if they knew they would be falsely charged and convicted for something they didn't do.

For example, some small town police attempted to murder someone and was killed in the act. The person who defended themselves might know there was no chance for a fair trial, and asked a friend to bury the body. A true friend would know if self defense was the only possibility and would help bury the body.