all 31 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 131 points 2 years ago (2 children)

In a long dumb story I once went to jail over a speeding ticket that was a day late.

The two cops couldn't believe they had to arrest me for it and the jail was so backed up I was there for four days.

I was still a teenager and terrified, but I put on a face and told every joke I'd ever heard to get by. My last morning there My bunkmate found me so entertaining he offered me a free prostitute, which I had to very politely decline.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 14 points 2 years ago*

    I remember when I got admitted at 20. Two Latino dudes and white, teenage me in the cell.

    One dude had my mat for my bed. He saw that I walked in, looked at me, then got up without a word and put the mat on the bunk for me. I thanked him, introduced ourselves, and talked. Nicest person the whole time there. The jail staff were assholes on a powertrip. This dude ended giving me his "mom's" number bc I do programming and stuff, which I ended misplacing. He said he was in for them finding a large amount of $ in a... foreign.. car. I still wonder to this day how life would be different had I called that number.

    Hope he is doing well.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 117 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    ... Just say thank you? You don't need to follow through with their offer to acknowledge their appreciation.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 118 points 2 years ago* (3 children)

    Nah, it's just that she had so many names pop into her head and wasn't expecting such a rare and selfless offer. It's crazy what happens when you treat nurses with respect and kindness like anyone else.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 67 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    For some reason I imagined MS13 having a super courteous hotline with corporate help desk people for their hitmen.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 23 points 2 years ago

    Lol just ICA style Diana Burnwood answers the phone. You’re like “my upstairs neighbor is pretty loud I guess, idk, never done this before.” That night, he disappears off the face of the planet.

    “Contract complete 47, good work”

    Meanwhile the police are casually questioning you about if you’ve seen him recently.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 49 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    you need someone taken care of

    *Dude starts nursing school

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Got it, don’t fuck with doctors and medics. Understood.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    The only group of people that you don't fuck with even more is dentists

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 37 points 2 years ago

    u need someone taken care of, you call me, no charge.

    Tfw MS13 shows up at your hated enemy's house with a big pot of soup, aspirin, tissues, blankets, and feel good DVDs.

  • source
  • [–] 34 points 2 years ago

    You tell them that you need them to take care of themselves. You can handle the emotional baggage that their thug life is going to get them so hurt you won't be able to save them one day.

  • source
  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago

    "Well, now that you mention it..."

  • source
  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago

    Helped a guy once on the bus who went through a terrible time. Turned out he was a gang member and offerd me something similar. I said thank you and asked him to return the favor in a similar way I did with him to an other stranger.

  • source
  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago

    This is a big plot mechanic in a great French movie called Ne Le Dis A Personne

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago
    [–] 0 points 2 years ago

    He should have added an asterisk mentioning that it only applies to unarmed men, women, and old people.

  • source
  • [–] -1 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Just goes to show they're not human anymore.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments