31
how long do you need to be Ina relationship with someone before you can say 'Go fuck yourself, I love you too.' and your partner will respond with a chuckle instead of a blood fued? (startrek.website)
submitted 9 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Literally just had this exchange with my partner of 26 years. I'm curious about how typical our interaction is in the wider Lemmyverse.

all 17 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 29 points 9 months ago (1 child)

I don't think this has anything to do with time and is more to do with the kind of person they are. I had similar exchanges with my current partner within the first year of our relationship. If the response had been a blood feud as you put it that would have been a good indicator that the relationship was going nowhere.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Obviously it’s not a romantic thing, but also related to the individual’s level of comfort with seeming insults, this is a recent situation that did not make sense to a coworker of mine.

    My dad just cut his finger off (non dominant pointer, so either #4 or #5 most important, depending on how highly you rate pinkies) the other day after many, many decades of woodworking and general tinkering. He’s otherwise okay, but it hurt like a bitch and it couldn’t be reattached. He’s mostly regretful, with a touch of existential jolting.

    My sisters and I got him a giant foam finger two days after it happened and he laughed his fucking head off. I got a pretty good chuckle on that very day from “hey, 9/10 ain’t bad,” but I’m pretty sure that was mostly the painkillers, because it’s not a good joke.

    My coworker told us under no circumstances to get the foam finger and we should just be nice. I get the sentiment, but that would scare the shit out of my dad. For context, after shaving his wife’s head during the course of her chemo treatments, my dad looked at her in the mirror when she was feeling nearly her lowest and said that he’d always had a crush on uncle Fenster, but he’d never expected to get so lucky. She laughed uproariously.

    I was raised by these people, so that’s the kind of thing that I say. A relationship with someone who was always earnest would not work for either of us.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
    •
  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Holy shit, I think I love your parents 🤣

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    If you want another story, when I was a four year old girl, I asked my mother how my dad proposed to her, looking for a fairytale. She told me they’d been together for eight years, so “at that point it was really shit or get off the pot.” This was probably the first time she swore in front of me, and she only did it a dozen times or so ever (though I was twelve when she died, so she was still editing herself).

    My dad also separately started hitting a silver quarter with a spoon on the night after their first date, and hit it so many thousands of times over the next several years that he was able to shape it into a ring for her, which is one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard, but that wasn’t a proposal, so she didn’t tell me that story for several years.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago

    OH MY GOD!!!!!

    When I was in college, a computer lab coworker asked me how long I had been dating my girlfriend.

    I told her 6 years. She said, "Shit or get off the pot!"

    That was the moment I decided to propose. We've been married for 33 years, together for 39.

    When people ask about the proposal, I tell that story, and end with, "...so I decided to shit."

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
    • [–] 13 points 9 months ago

    Thats a chemistry/humor thing, not a duration thing

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 12 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Married for 7 years, together for probably about 10 total

    Can't really think of a time we wouldn't have had that sort of exchange.

    She's also been jokingly threatening me with divorce since we got married. I'm pretty sure we left the courthouse holding the receipt for our marriage license joking that we needed to hold onto it in case we needed it for a return. Still have it around somewhere, someday we're gonna put it in a little shadowbox with "in case of irreconcilable differences break glass" stenciled on it.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
    • [–] 8 points 9 months ago

    I have had many giggling "fuck you!" "no fuck you!" Arguments in my current 8 year relationship.

    We've never had an argument that wasn't funny and ridiculous from both sides.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 7 points 9 months ago

    I'm at sixteen years, and I'd definitely have to test the mood before saying that.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    With my wife, probably 10,000 years

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    One of my closest relationships, we called each other cunt, etc. all the time. Unfortunately, she turned out to be a bit of a cunt.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    That will depend on the type of humor your partner enjoys not time.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    I've been with my partner for 16 years. We met one of my friends for brunch last year, and afterwards he and I hung out, while my partner went home. Before she left, my friend said, "it was so good to see you " and hugged her. Then she turned to me and I said, "bye bitch, see ya at the house". We laughed and she took off. My friend was like, "dude, I can't believe you said that and she was cool with it. My gf would be pissed at me for days!"

    So yeah, I got a good one :)

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    I think this is a personality thing. Its just not a phrase I would think to say and as a phrase it does not make sense to me. I mean I would not say fuck you and all your ancestors to the pits of hell, I love you too. Those are similar phrases to me.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •
    [+] 1 point 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
    [deleted]
  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
    •