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What do pregnancy and childbirth feel like? (lemmynsfw.com)
submitted 10 months ago by to c/asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com
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[+] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    I don’t know where to start:

    • Did you give birth with your partner present? Were they supportive and if so, how?
    • How supportive was your partner during and after the pregnancy?
    • How did your attraction to your partner or partners change during the pregnancy?
    • This might be TMI (so if you don’t want to answer I understand), but how did sex change during and after pregnancy?
    • What do “false” contractions feel like feel compared to real ones?
    • How would you describe contractions to someone without a uterus? (I’ve heard it’s like diarrhea but much worse)?
    • When did lactation start and what does that feel like? (I’ve heard that when a baby cries, women can start leaking. Is that true in your case?)
    • Why did the nurses tell you not to push?
    • How has your body changed post birth?

    Edit: I added a question and changed some wording. Also, thank you for answering my initial question!

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  • [+] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    Kind of silly, but... did you have any specific food cravings, and if so, what were they?

    Also, congrats on momhood!

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Thank you :)

    Hmm, not really, I ate mostly the same stuff as before. But I did increase my yogurt intake, I think.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (1 child)

    Huh...

    Maybe its just my family line where this seems to be a thing, weird/odd food cravings during pregnancy.

    ???

    Well, yeah, yogurt isn't that weird, lol.

    I guess uh... do you recall what kind of painkiller or... some other kind of IV cocktail they had you on?

    Or did you not have one?

    I was a C section birth due to being stuck in ridiculous position, trying to come out butt first if I remember right what my parents said, so... yeah, glad you were able to avoid that.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Haha, yeah, I guess :D what kind of cravings are present in your family?

    I was on no painkillers, I simply forgot to ask for that as the contractions took up all my mental focus... It would have made it a lot more comfortable, but oh well ^^

    C sections are so fascinating, if I would have needed one, I would have loved to have a transparent screen, so that I can see what they are doing. But yeah, I'm glad I didn't need one.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    Usually its weird in that they would not regularly eat too much of something, as ... a lot of people in my family are picky eaters (cough neurotic cough) but like...

    Suddenly, its time for 5 pickles per day, for basically weeks.

    Or... some particular kind of sausage or meat with a very specific seasoning flavor profile, has to be that exact brand/flavor/mix.

    Oh well, most of my family is literally nuts (have actual diagnosed fairly serious mental disorders), so ... yay my family line!

    But uh yeah... ironically, in a misguided idiot attempt to screen me for some kind of one of those disorders or something, I got a botched spinal tap, against my will, from a quack... my dad thought this could somehow screen me for rheumatoid arthritis, before I finished puberty.

    1. Basically no one develops rheumatoid arthritis until like their 40s.

    2. Theres nothing that a spinal tap accomplishes that screens for that.

    3. ... I was having minor growing pains from puberty.

    Anyway, reason I mention all that is to make a kind of dark and edgy joke about how I guess I've come closer than you have to having an epidural =P

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Hahaha, what a tangent, I love it! But yeah, that sounds fucked up... I hope you are well, and that you have only the kind of contact to your family that you want to have :)

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Not well at the moment, but recovery and PT is ongoing and making slow but steady progress.

    And, I do have the amount of contact with my family that I desire ... that amount is 0, they probably think I am dead.

    Yeah, I'm not gonna be continuing my family line, but, I still recognize that a functional family, a wanted and well cared for child... well, that's a beautiful thing that should be celebrated.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    That sounds healthy, like you are taking good care of yourself 🤗

    And I totally get the 'no contact' with family, sometimes they hold us back, keep us in toxic dynamics, so it's the best thing to get rid of that... I wish you a wonderful weekend, thank you for this exchange, and sorry for sometimes taking longer to respond!

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago* (1 child)

    Uh, hah, no problem with the delay, makes for an unexpected surprise!

    Hope your weekend goes well too.

    But uh, yeah, this last stunt they pulled very nearly directly resulted in my death, beyond the injuries I am still recovering from, so uh... after a life time of their instability, immense drama, drug problems, criminal behavior, constant gaslighting, guilt tripping, hypocrisy, and insatiable need for validation...

    Yep, I'm done now.

    Though I am still not fully recovered, simply being away from them has done wonders for my mental health.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Oh my god, that sounds horrible! That must have been super rough, I had my small share of gaslighting in a past relationship, and that alone was tough to get away from, so I can't imagine how you managed to live through all of it and eventually to get away from it! And almost dying because of them, that is a whole different level! I'm glad you are alive and I wish you a quick and full recovery!

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Thank you.

    I am... kind of emotionally dead inside, not entirely, I still laugh and cry, but at the level of attempting to have any kind of ... real relationship with anyone, so, I'm not very good at ... conveying gratitude, or warmth.

    Apparently this is part of what is called hyper vigilance, a kind of consistent/persistent PTSD side effect.

    I've spent too long learning the hard way that trust is impossible, love is conditional and flows only one way.

    I... logically know that those things are not true.

    But instinctively... they are.

    ... sorry to get so dark.

    Anyway, yes, the recovery is slow but progressing.

    Two years ago I was in a wheel chair.

    6 months ago I needed either a cane or crutches and a bunch of braces to move around for more than ~30 minutes.

    As of roughly two weeks ago, I can manage 30 minutes without anything, though it is painful and I have to be very careful, I usually still use the cane and one or two braces.

    So... steady as she goes, this is working, just, slowly.

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    • [–] 5 points 10 months ago* (2 children)

    For me:

    Pregnancy was easy, I felt so good, it was the first time I felt good about my body even though it was big, I felt beautiful. No migraines because of the hormones, which was glorious, and crazy high sex drive, the additional blood flow made sex feel so good.

    Labor was weird - mine were mostly "precipitous", meaning I didn't really feel anything, silent labor, until the transition, so I would like puke and have very sudden hard labor for about a half hour then a baby.

    Childbirth sucks. My midwife told us to do fisting to train for it but we didn't, and ought to have, I got torn. Again, mine were fast, no pushing on purpose my body just did it but even a small baby is too big to come out that way, and mine were big (smallest just under 8lb, biggest right at 10lb). Still, better than abdominal surgery and recovery.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Pregnancy stops migraines? Also, did you not have morning sickness?

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    It stopped mine because periods were my main trigger. And no, not really any morning sickness, I felt good.

    Nursing tanked my sex drive though, that was very disappointing after the high of pregnancy!

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    What does nursing feel like?

    Also, did your sex drive tank because nursing made you tired or was it more the hormones of nursing just quelling your sex drive?

    Finally, how did the additional blood flow make things feel good?

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Hormones for sure. It was odd, I couldn't dredge up any desire at all. I could get off but it was like I couldn't be bothered, was starting from below zero instead of my usual +3, or the +5 of pregnancy, teenagehood, and 40s.

    Nursing - i would get a strong feeling of doom when the milk came down, thought I was crazy and didn't tell anyone, found out many years later that it's called DMER and was not just some unique madness. But once it started it was fine, it feels about how you would imagine, physically. Emotionally, outside of the odd doom rush, it made me feel good about my boobs - they were very small even while nursing but made So Much Milk it made me realize they were real boobs, complete and functional, in a way I had not felt at all before.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    How often would you get the DMER thing? Also, I’ve heard nursing described as feeling like “peeing through one’s nipple” …is that accurate? Also, apart from sex drive, how long did it take for your body to get back to normal after birth?

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Every time but only for a little while. Like the worst drug rush ever. Then it was just gone. And no, not like peeing, it's secretion not excretion, I didn't feel the milk coming out as much as the baby latching on. It did squirt right out though, it's pretty funny and also magical and awesome, free food for the baby is an incredible design.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 10 months ago (1 child)

    What does feeling full feel like vs feeling empty then?

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    At first they do get full and hard, first couple of times the real milk comes in, but then adapt, and in my experience just make milk on demand when the baby nurses. My now grown kids say I am not empathetic about ladies who have issues nursing because it just seemed natural and not something I or any of my babies had to learn, it just happened. Have the baby, put 'em on the boob, that's it.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    Firstly: Ow, fuck, am guy, am even guy who uh, isn't afraid of a prostate massage, but still, can't imagine internal tearing from childbirth is fun...

    Did you maybe get an epidural or some kind of IV with some kind of painkiller?

    But anyway, as with the other mom (congrats by way!)... did you have any specific food cravings during pregnancy and if so, what were they?

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    • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    So far just lots of nausea… but early right now. Hope it gets better.

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