No such thing. The services for dating are all bot driven now. People end up paying for a service that simply isn't as advertised.

Now, hookup services ala grindr, they can do better at finding real people, but it's hit or miss about making connections that matter. Last I talked to anyone, adult friend finder is kinda decent, but you still run into it being more about hookups than any mid to long term connections. But, since you describe a pretty open situation with your partner, focusing on something that's going to be non monogamous friendly like that is likely to be a better choice.