this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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Covid def left me psychically wounded in a way that I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from. I wrote a whole damn book to help myself deal with it and tbh the ENTIRE THING spawned from reading about how ants deal with pathogens by systematically cleaning each other every day to keep their population as resistant to infection as possible. By INSTINCT they showcase "we're only as healthy as everyone is." We are social creatures too, we form societies too, we divide up our labor too, how the fuck did we get so alienated from something as basic as "keep each other healthy?"
I had this terror at my core for a while during the pandemic, this emptiness that comes from seeing an animal with some horrific prion disease die in pointless agony. It was like my community, my species, my social superorganism, was looking at pieces of itself turning black and rotting off and just watching in resignation.
All those families collapsed, all those futures forever marked, all that meat offered up to mankind's true predators that lurk in the microscopic margins, and somehow our incredible superorganism recovers, so that it can torture itself again later.