"In the ancient times before the Night Squids descended and we were confined to the Dark Library, humanity had more than one homeland. The story-bringers tell us about the humans from one such mysterious land. Their food was strange, covered in oil and eaten on discs. They would adorn their hair with grease and wear large gold medallions. We now call these people axonts, however the ancients knew them as the Eye-Tal-ians."

may i have a hugo award