Sadly the only thing I can really recommend for tension in crochet is "practise". Which I know is not a satisfying answer. Generally among the people I've taught to do it though, it seems like when you feel like you're holding the yarn loosely enough already as a beginner you should loosen up even more. If it feels like everything is "too loose", that's probably about right!

Also just wanted to mention we have a brand new cross stitch community (!lemmy_stitch@sh.itjust.works) now too that needs some content, and I for one would love to see what you've been stitching :D