This is hilarious 😂 Is it something those of us without dicks would also say? (In English, I might still tell someone to "suck my dick," despite not having one.)

This makes me think about the French "je m'en bats les couilles" (litt. "I beat my balls with it"). Some girls say it too, others say they beat their ovaries instead.

We do "my dick sweats", for the same thing, which I now realize sounds super gross.

In English, over time, “I could care less” has come to have the exact same meaning as “I couldn’t care less.”

Some people get wrapped around an axle (i.e. irrationally angry) about it, but i just mentally fill in some context myself: “I could care less… i suppose… if i really tried… but that’s not going to happen.”

There’s no governing body for English. If you communicate the meaning and social cues that you intended, then it’s “right.” Of course, communicating social cues is sometimes where you can get in trouble using newer linguistic constructions.