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Daily Discussion Thread: Sun 16 Jul 2023 (aussie.zone)
submitted 3 years ago by [M] to c/melbourne@aussie.zone
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[–] 17 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (6 children)

For those who were following my comment yesterday about my boss trying to get me to fire another employee on her behalf I have good news. My boss listened to what I had to say and I managed to de-escalate the situation to a written warning. My boss was suprisingly reasonable about it, realised she was acting from emotion and thanked me for talking her down. That is not how i expected it to go at all. As someone who often struggles to speak up/stand up for myself I'm pretty proud of myself for once in my life. I'm going to hold off on looking for something else for the time being, but it's made me realise i really need to get serious about having disaster savings Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave their advice yesterday. It was very much appreciated and helped me so much.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 years ago* (1 child)

    Well done!

    Boundary setting is so good. As someone who had none a year ago, I now have clearly defined ones and no problem being diplomatic when telling people they're doing stuff which I find steps over them. It took practise, a traumatic event, therapy and deep personal honesty to get there though. People either respect your boundaries or they're not worth the effort imo. We don't have to liked by everyone but people pleasing is hard to break out of as well. If someone doesn't like me now, that's fine. I know I'm valid and wholesome and for everyone, at the end of every day it's just them and their pillow like almost everyone else. It's easier to get to sleep when you didn't let someone walk all over you because it causes resentment.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 years ago

    Yes boundaries are so important and it can be terrifying when you come from a background of abuse and trauma. You just always assume the worse. Realising that you can stand up for yourself by being calm, rational and diplomatic is like being able to breathe again after holding your breath under water. I'm so glad you're at a place where you know your worth and your strength. I love seeing people empowered :)

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    That’s so great! Both for you and your colleague. Hopefully the written warning is enough to scare them into not doing whatever it was your boss was so strung out over. Good for you for handling it so well :)

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