Listen, I explained Lemmy to my 66 year old boomer Dad and even he understood. You join one of the Lemmy instances and choose it as your home the same way you choose gmail as your email provider. Then you sub whatever community anywhere. It's not a big deal.
The way I see it, just like with many many many other open sourced projects such as Launchbox, or KeePass, or ShareX, or Libre Office, nothing starts out perfect. But you need to recognise there are hard working people trying to make this dream a reality. It's being worked on. What you are looking at is essentially a website in it's infancy still, and it's being built by the sheer will of the community. If people have patience, and understanding, things can work out just fine. This place is a paradise compared to Reddit. The Reddit corporation does not give a fuck. It wants your data, and to squeeze you for cash.
Lemmy isn't perfect, yet, but the best thing we can do is work together and make it the way we want it, and we can, nothing can stop us. It's open source, anyone can contibute. Donate. Post. Help the devs fix the bugs.