I have a long history of interviewing well and fucking around until I get fired.

HAHAH this is me at my current job - except they finally caught on after me literally doing nothing the past year except maybe a handful of emails a day. Now for the past month I've been doing like 2 hours of work a day and they're in awe

"wow abc you're knocking this out of the park, I have no complaints" - my supervisor at the last two mandatory weekly meetings we've had to review my weeks performance

:pain:

My plan thus far has been to finish the probationary period and hopefully line a job up in the meantime so upon them releasing me from micromanagement I can turn around and be like "yeah, so here's my two weeks you fucks" since they too refuse to pay me more and even refused to subsidize A PORTION of a new computer desk despite the job being 95% wfh even prior to the pandemic

My hero. I started doing this myself as well. And am literally the happiest I've ever been at work. Like I laugh at the person I was who would work his ass off for $8.00 an hour. Fuck that