The ones I do play, I tend to enjoy shooting at monsters more than people these days, but a lot of the ones I enjoy don’t really have a compelling story or campaign to go alongside them.

Yeah, I think I've really fallen off of the whole "modern warfare" thing. I'm sure I could enjoy a military shooter just fine still, but it's not something I seek out because it makes me think too much about scary things that happen in the real world, I guess. I don't want to be a soldier, I guess.

That culture shaped my personality and as a mild mannered introvert in real life it lets me engage in that hero fantasy without harm to others or myself. I enjoy it and I’ve come to accept it for being that.

Absolutely, and I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with that. It can be harmless fun and all, but sometimes I wonder why I enjoy this particular kind of power fantasy, and if I really should. It's a lot easier when it's all cartoonishly evil stuff, but things that go for more gritty, edgy, and "real" vibes... I dunno. I can still enjoy them, but sometimes I think too much about it and I'm like "I guess this is kind of fucked, huh?"

If you stop to look at it a overwhelming amount of entertainment in general frequently features violence, and I think it’s just baked into our universal human experience. Violence has been a mainstay in human history, and art reflects reality. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that. In order to maintain my sanity I choose to accept it as a fact of the human condition and, though maybe not revel in it, I will engage that instinct in a safe manner.

Yeah, I think about this a lot actually. One thing that's kind of interesting to me is that my partner is often okay with violence in films and TV shows, but is generally pretty opposed to it in video games. I guess video game violence is kind of different in some ways, in some sense you're often committing the acts of violence yourself... And it probably doesn't help if you're not engaged with the story, and don't particularly care for video games in the first place, haha. If you're more familiar with film and TV you're probably more okay with it there.

But yeah, so much media is centered around violence... And to be honest, I don't really think it's because it's so central to our lives. I mean, obviously it's still very much present and is a big deal in many ways, and is maybe something we're hard wired to find "interesting" in some sense because it has been present throughout our evolutionary history... But in our every day lives I think a lot of us go about our days without seeing much real violence or gore or anything... BUT, violence and death is kind of an excellent motivator and catalyst, which I personally think is a huge reason why it's a central part of so much media. It's a lot easier to justify why you're doing something if it's life or death, and I think it's a huge part of why it's so prevalent in video games too... It's an easy motivator and easy justification for shooting things yourself. There's definitely non-violent games, but I think it's much harder to design instant gratification machines that everybody intrinsically understands the goal of unless it's motivated by "death" in some sense. I think it's pretty difficult to design something that has the kind of cadence and feedback of a shooter without violence and without it seeming arbitrary to a lot of people. I think platformers get pretty close, but most aren't purely about jumping. Maybe rhythm games and sports games too? And there's been other valiant efforts like Pyre, which I think is super interesting. And of course there's other kinds of games like city builders and sandboxes and puzzle games and whatnot, but I feel like they have a very different pace and feel... Which is totally valid and valuable too, of course... But can you have something cathartic like a shooter that isn't one? I mean Portal is kind of interesting in this respect too, because it's arguably an FPS but very different and (mostly) non-violent.

But yeah, I'm kind of just talking out of my ass... And I feel like I'm starting to sound like a bit of a nut who's opposed to violence in video games and think it will turn people into murderers or something. I don't feel that way at all, and I definitely do enjoy my fair share of violent video games... I guess I'm just trying to think of the other facets of life that I value and enjoy, and I'm kind of wondering where the expression of that is in my video games? And I guess I've also been thinking of my partner and how I can better share this thing that I enjoy with them... But it's kind of hard because so many games are centered around violence... And I guess in some sense I've also been thinking a bit about what I want to do in this world, and I think maybe I want to do something creative at some point (maybe one day I'll try putting together a small game or something), and I've been thinking a bit about why I would even want to do that, if I want to "say" anything with that piece of work, or if I just want to try to make something that's "dumb fun"... But I guess in the back of my mind I also have these thoughts that I'd like for it to be something that my partner could also enjoy. Iunno.

And yeah, I've enjoyed this too :). Nice talking to ya!