Literally only the best strategies here! I mean lets recap:

• Threaten to buy company then double down and agree in writing as a bullying tactic: check
• Roll a nat 1 on your intimidation check: check
• Be forced to follow through when called out on being mentally an 8 yo by the feds: check
• Fire critical employees, like basically all of them: check
• Yoink verification away from public news orgs: check
• Let anyone pay to be "legit," even if they're parodying you: check
• Rename twitter to the stupidest thing imagined since head-on (apply directly to the forehead): check
• Gut content moderation policies but also stop enforcing regardless: check
• Post own hate content and racism to the platform: check
• "Accidentally" run ads next to hate content: check
• Be told your sign sucks and to take it down by city: check (lol)
• Become a living embodiment of "big yikes" energy while telling aforementioned advertisers to "go fuck yourselves" on live TV: check
• Hallucinate about making x into a libertarian wechat alternative: check
• Tank the value of the company while blaming literally anyone else for your failures: mission in progress, #1 priority

10/10 solid buy, gonna grab some long calls rn. The koch boys and rupert murderjock must be holding back a tsunami of jealousy by now 🤣

I'm pretty certain I know how Musk would respond to this. It's inappropriate for Beehaw.

He’s a genius playing 8D chess. You just don’t understand. By this time next week, Twitter will be the only website in the world and Lonnie will laugh at you from mars. Just watch!