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I'm with Kira (startrek.website)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/risa@startrek.website
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[–] -5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

I'm not talking about appeasement.

You don't have to agree with someone or do what they want, to not shun them. Have you never disagreed with a friend? Did you read the article I linked to?

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    You're getting downvoted because you seem to be falling to understand that that guy is exceptional in that he is an exception, not the norm.

    You realize it wasn't that long ago that black people were hanged for as little as looking at a white person the wrong way at times, yes?

    Being super nice isn't a reliable way to accomplish what he has.

    Even if it is it's not an option for everyone. A white guy acting like this towards a KKK member isn't going to accomplish this. A Hispanic guy doing it is unlikely to change a racist's opinion on black people.

    Your statements come off as Elon Musk telling people to work hard to be rich because it's happened before.

    It may be a useful tool in some circumstances, but one guy, or even a handful of them, does not prove it's the "best way".

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  • [+] -6 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    The first is by definition always an exception. We don't know if they're unique, until others try the same thing.

    I never said being super nice was the fix. Being a friend is. It's hard to be bigoted against a group, when one of that group is a good friend. But yes anyone outside the targeted group, won't be able to have quite the same effect. Those outside the group can be helpful though. If a trusted friend points out your short comings, you're more likely to second guess them, or at least not take them as far as you might otherwise.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    Except in this case others have already tried the same thing with results going from success to death. It's not unique but it is uncommon. This would speak against it as the "best way".

    It's hard to convince someone bigoted against you to be your friend. If they won't be your friend the whole concept fails. This shouldn't need to be stated.

    Often bigots closest friends are also bigots. Again causing issue. If one close friend points out your shortcomings but the others tell you they aren't shortcomings at all it's much easier to stick with your comfort zone, as it almost always is. Repeated efforts here cause a friendship to falter, which goes back to what was suggested in the first place, separation.

    Friendship works on someone open to it working. Whether they already have that friend or not. You can't force someone to accept something they don't want to hear, which is probably the problem you're having accepting the flaws in your own point of view despite the ways they have been pointed out in other's comments.

    From what I'd read in to, you're substituting "best way" for "most moral way" without considering that morality is not a standard. To many reducing harm to the masses is far more moral than making friends with bigots. They can, and must, choose to step outside their bigotry in order to leave it behind. Until then they can deal with being on the fringes.

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