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Alright, listen up, you fucking pink lady cultists (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by to c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world
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Update: Tried the sweetango and pink lady with a granny smith.

  • The pink lady has way thicker skin than the granny smith, so I have no idea how granny smith got 0 points for skin based on it being too thick while pink lady got 5. Like yeah, the thick skin is good for you, so I like that, but the site clearly thought otherwise.
  • I agree now with the 3.5/5 tartness rating. Either the one I had before was an outlier or I was misremembering. It's tart enough for sure.
  • This particular granny smith was having an off-day and wasn't nearly as tart as usual granny smiths.
  • Probably like a 70/100 for me. Flavor's tolerable, reasonable price, reasonably juicy, mediocre texture, thick skin improves one of the few health benefits apples have over other fruits. Still much prefer something like honeycrisp, cosmic crisp, or sugarbee. Not the third-best apple at all.
  • Generally preferred the granny smith, especially because a bite of pink lady goes right from tart to this mild, almost sickening sweetness like some Roman was working at the orchard and put lead in it.
  • They were smoking crack when they gave sweetango a 95/100 and ranked it the best apple. This right here is a fucking 6/10 apple. The texture was like a less egregious red delicious. I can't even remember the flavor like 15 minutes later. Tiny little nothing. Genuinely one of the most forgettable apples I've eaten in my life.

The other day, I wrote this comment. I remarked that pink lady apples have "practically zero tartness", that they don't compete with even the nowadays hit-or-miss honeycrisp, and that a 90/100 is an outrageous assessment when something like a granny smith is at a 57. Enough of you disagreed and it's been long enough that, as a man of science, I aim today to challenge my own biases.

I'm at the grocery store right now, and in my cart are two pink lady apples in pristine condition. Get ready, fuckers, because in the next couple hours, I'm giving you my real thoughts on these overrated starter apples.

I also have a few sweetangos, which the ranking website shills for hard.

Pinging @fonix232@fedia.io @feannag@sh.itjust.works @OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works @bunkyprewster@startrek.website

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[–] 21 points 2 days ago (14 children)

Lol. So, like, I used to live some miles away from a farm that grew a bunch of different heirloom apples. Which piqued my interest and sent me searching for other (semi-easily accessible) apple varieties when I traveled. I kept notes as I went; I've probably eaten and rated over 250 varieties by now. Anyway, I have some basic knowledge on this.

Regarding the ratings site (which I haven't looked at; I'm tired and am just desperately trying to get my brain to settle so I can sleep) vs your ratings: sourcing matters. If you're buying apples from the grocery store, even at this time of year, there's a chance you're buying last year's apples. That's going to affect the skin, the texture, and the flavor of the apple. See if you can find fresh-picked (and preferably locally-grown) apples for your comparisons. It's possible that you and that website are comparing old vs new apples.

Secondly, temperature matters. No, seriously. If you're getting apples for testing, get two. Put one in the fridge and the other on the counter, then eat them the next day. Alternate bites, clearing your taste buds between. You're looking at crunch (biting through the skin and the apple), texture (whether the flesh holds up to the bite or becomes mealy), sweetness, tang, astringency; the first flavors that come through, and how the flavor develops as you chew. Probably other factors I'm not thinking of at the moment, but you can make up your own

What you'll find is that coldness will boost the flavor profile: something that's very mild at room temperature may have a rich and complex flavor when cold; and something that's too sharp and almost bitter becomes refreshing and delicious at room temperature.

If you're a denigrator of Red Delicious, get yourself to an orchard with old-style Red Delicious - trees at least 35 years old, get them at harvest time, and they're fucking delicious.

Remember that there are three main types of apples: cider apples, eating apples, and cooking apples. While many apples have multiple uses, it's rare that a cooking apples will come out on top when eaten raw.

Finally, the best apples I've found so far are Winchester for eating and Northern Spy for cooking.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 days ago (10 children)

    I appreciate the quality and depth of your comment, but I am also skeptical because every red "delicious" I've ever had has tasted like apple-flavored cardboard pulp molded into the shape of an apple. I admit that my interest is piqued, though. It must have tasted pretty different at one time to be an award winner.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 days ago (9 children)

    The only thing I can come up with is that the etymology of "delicious" in "Red Delicious" is from English (arcane) meaning flavorless sand rock or something similar. (Although I remember reading that Red Delicious apples are more nutritious than other varieties. Perhaps they just open some multivitamin capsules and inject them into each apple.) I personally haven't eaten a single edible, let alone enjoyable, Red Delicious apple.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 days ago (8 children)

    If i remember correctly, Red Delicious used to be fantastic, but was genetically selected to be more and more of that unique red color and lost its other, more desirable traits because of the genetic selection

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  • [–] 3 points 2 days ago (7 children)

    Red Delicious did indeed used to be fantastic. I recall from my childhood.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago (4 children)

    ...could that be skewed by a relative risein sugar intake (possibly by an order or magnitude, if I'm being facetious)

    in loving this intense apple debate, though!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    As a kid that grew up on Koolaid and Sweet Tea and pixie sticks and rarely drank just ice water and now rarely has any of those sugar drinks and all water all the time... I really don't think so. But I also don't know how I don't have diabetes at this point.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

    This is beautiful. Thank you. The second pink lady was, indeed, destined for the refrigerator, as was a second sweetango. I much prefer apples refrigerated, but since I don't usually have that level of foresight, I tried them for this first test as I usually eat them, which is room-temperature.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago (1 child)

    What do you think of Braeburn?

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  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago

    Braeburn was my grocery store go-to for a while there. But then they caught on and started importing them from overseas. I don't have an issue with importing, especially for things that I've never really had fresh-off-the-tree (bananas, pineapple), but for something that was picked under-ripe and shipped halfway across the world while sitting in storage for six months - nah. If your store has access to in-season Braeburn, go for it!

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