I was not aware that you could downvote profiles. I was just checking your recent comment history and disagree with how you treat others. That’s what the voting system is here for. But apparently, this does not stop you. Apparently, you need to be properly moderated, so that other people feel more safe.

You sound very frustrated and as if your life slips through your hands. Please talk to professionals. Here you can find a suitable helpline for you: https://findahelpline.com/

Good luck.