Most people don't put so much pressure on it. It's just a fun holiday where you get to dress in a costume and go running around the neighborhood getting candy.
on TV and it seems to be a stage managed
That's the TV part.
kids dress up and everyone buys candy for everyone else's kids
Yup, that's the holiday in short. You also get "spooky", which is like scary but no one is scared.
It's one of the best holidays because the entire point is "fun" and the stakes are low.