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How can i stop feeling like a loser? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 5 hours ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I often feel like a loser. I don’t do any sports, but i’ve been wanting to get back into swimming since i used to do it as a kid and i kind of miss it, i don’t play any instruments, and there are days once every two or three weeks where i’m just home all day. I am addicted to my phone, or rather addicted to YouTube, i am watching YT videos most of my day, not even watching but often just leave them in the background and go on with my day. I have accomplished some cool stuff, like i just recently got out of morbid obesity by following a diet, i got my English C1 certification and i’m learning Spanish and Mandarin with surprisingly good results. I have been studying stuff i’m interested in, mainly politics, philosophy, and most recently I’m getting more into maths and physics. However, even tho i did achieve those things, i feel like i should do more.

I have always envied people that play instruments but never got around to do it myself (one friend of mine proposed to borrow me his old guitar, i might accept), i don’t workout currently because for the past 2 years i got a gym membership but didn’t care enough to show up consistently because it’s just boring to me, i’d like to go out more but many of my friends are always busy or just out of reach, and i live a bit far from the city so i can’t just “take a walk”, because i’d have nowhere to go and for a big portion of the road near my house there is no sidewalks at all.

I feel like i’m just making up excuses, but idk, do you know how i can stop feeling that way?

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[–] 1 point 3 hours ago

I have accomplished some cool stuff, like i just recently got out of morbid obesity by following a diet, i got my English C1 certification and i’m learning Spanish and Mandarin with surprisingly good results. I have been studying stuff i’m interested in, mainly politics, philosophy, and most recently I’m getting more into maths and physics.

Holy shit that's awesome! You have lots of accomplishments to talk about :)

It's not boasting to be proud of your work and talk about it. It's OK to talk about yourself.

I suggest joining a club, going to events, or volunteer orgs as said in other comments. Examples: trail maintenance, rock climbing, hiking, sports, dance, improv, anything you're interested in already, think might be fun, or even seems adjacent to your interest but challenging. MAKE THE EFFORT AND GO OUT OF YOUR WAY FOR IT!

Try to be honestly interested in new people you meet. My favorite question is "Who are you?" because it forces them to think and it tends to build interest on asking the question in return.

We feel less like a loser when we make social connections with people we admire. Then when they want to hang out or talk it shows us that others see our value. You have to accept your circumstances, change what you want and are able to, and be vulnerable with others.

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