graycloud comments on trainsgender

[–] graycloud@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 18 hours ago (6 children)

You really don't know what causes it, huh?

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[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml [S] 1 point 18 hours ago (5 children)

i've heard a number of possible explanations but frankly none of them seem entirely convincing. if you have an idea please feel free to share :)

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[–] graycloud@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 point 17 hours ago (4 children)

If I told you an explanation from my own experience as a trans masc or as a trans man, would you just accept my experience as an explanation, or would you need to be convinced?

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[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml [S] 1 point 17 hours ago* (3 children)

absolutely, pretty much all the explanations i've seen were proposed by fellow transfems and/or presumed some kind of weird bias against transmascs (such as the classic "no afabs on the internet" or, worse, "transmascs are less oppressed than transfems and therefore don't rely on community as much"). obviously i can't immediately assume that necessarily holds true for all transmascs and can fully explain the phenomenon, but i would love to hear what you have to say (as a transmasc who presumably feels somewhat excluded from trans spaces) if you're willing to share - again, virtually all my personal interactions with transmascs have been with ones who don't feel this way and are as clueless as i am, so an opportunity to hear the "missing perspective" would be greatly appreciated :)

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[–] graycloud@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

some kind of weird bias against transmascs

It's this one, lol. Most trans men don't want to hear about how reductive misogynistic stereotypes like "no girls on the internet" still apply to them too.

Our culture has a suspicion and hatred of people assumed to be assigned female at birth who deviate from female gender roles and the LGBT community isn't really exempt from that.

Unfortunately even other trans mascs aren't exempt from this and will sometimes police or nitpick each other, accusing each other of "toxic masculinity" on trumped up charges... like, if a trans guy doesn't want to wear nail polish or something, or if he doesn't want to have kids or take care of kids, it's because of toxic masculinity and not just because he's a guy.

This is not to mention the fetishism and genuine danger faced by younger trans guys getting groomed online and so on. The end result is most trans men and mascs pretending to be cis dudes online.

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[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml [S] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 child)

that... does explain a lot, actually. especially what you said about "toxic masculinity", that could explain why all the trans guys i know tend to be relatively fem in their presentation... certainly food for thought.

at any rate, i'll try to put more effort into calling that kind of behavior out when i notice it. thanks for sharing your perspective :)

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[–] graycloud@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 12 hours ago

that could explain why all the trans guys i know tend to be relatively fem in their presentation

Nonbinary is relatively common both in transmascs and transfems but then so is comphet.

thanks for sharing your perspective :)

No problem

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