there is not any word in the english language that can capture just how horrifying the control of the capitalist powers over the internet is. (well internet is small part of the indoctrination and control of historiography, but the internet... in the time i was gone i've been observing my irl friend's internet feed and remembered as far as they think, this is all pure, clean and dandy. and i kept seeing the ciaslop everywhere) apart from that, witnessing anglosphere internet even secondhand reminded me why i find everyone there so fucking ANNOYING!! their trite """""""""politics"""""""""" of flab and vapor invariably end up anti-communist, ESPECIALLY their ideas of 'anti-capitalism' that end in silly little discussions of authoritarianism, did you know stalin was as bad as hitler, maybe worse?!

realizing that, at least i know i should focus on being able to have a real understanding of theory, where i know it so well that i can say it in such nice undeniable chunks for everyone, and then i can really help them pull at the strings about current events. only then could i actually start challenging the basics of historical knowledge, those that if you question them they'll start biting your leg. it's odd, actually, because i just wrote that paragraph out and i suddenly felt a burgeoning feeling of happiness and contentment. it's something i can do :)