been extremely busy and drained with so many things

today was the first day i could sort of go back to small steps improvement of political education. for me, it's always been so hard absorbing theory, and today i finally let go of the shame and looked for like, really simple threads and succinct if of course oversimplified definitions on r/tankiethedeprogram about specific concepts like imperialism and capital export. and it feels good, because i realized maybe i did actually get it! maybe i'm not as hopeless as i thought i was. it sounds silly, but it made me think of the i think compulsory diamat class in prc. i think most kids there aren't grateful for it, but i'd kind of kill for a simplified, easily accessible theory blurter or something. even a gamified app sort of . idk. hi it's been a while