These issues sound like not being familiar with mechanics common to a certain type of game. I have horrific ADHD and I spend an embarrassing amount of time playing video games, but I hate some of the things and genres you mention, so I wouldn't have had a great time either.
The primary deficits I have are with working memory and executive function. Platformers are a fucking nightmare if you don't have working memory. The executive function challenge makes games with rigid tactics and paths not very fun. I hate controllers, it's unintuitive. That might just be because I've been gaming on a PC for nearly 30 years 🫣
What kinds of games do I like? Going off my Steam play time: the fallout games, for some reason I really liked TF2 but probably because it is silly and my friends were playing it so would play together. Satisfactory, Cities Skylines, Transport Fever, Tropico, Dawn of War, supermarket simulator (lol). I've been playing Roller Coaster Tycoon on my phone lately (DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT? ITS THE FUTURE!)
So games with many paths and not a constant sense of urgency. Games are escapism for me.
My spouse who also has ADHD is very comfortable with a controller and loves games where he has to figure out the "trick" behind beating bosses. He loves rouge - like games and gets obsessive with dark souls and that whole genre. He just finished the latest Control. He loves to experience mechanics and level design and appreciates and analyzes games as art. He doesn't mind putting in effort to get that payoff, whereas I want a break from effort and the chance to explore at my own pace.
