I highly doubt any of them are telling you to off yourself (unless you've pissed them off for putting words in their mouth like this).
I've spent decades of my life in a depressive cloud & wish I hadn't been forced to by other control freaks telling me they enjoy life, so I can to if I just try hard enough - as if I haven't. They aren't stuck with my brain, and have no clue what it's like. I feel like I'm being used as cheap labor because I'm forced to make profit for other people just to keep my life from getting worse. Which is also why I haven't offed myself as my luck would cause the attempt to fail (as it once did - "fortunately" to no permanent ill effect), and also make my existence more unbearable.
Fuck Off with your obviously conservative control freak bullshit.