Every limit I've set on my phone came with a button that said "ignore for today". I pressed it without thinking, every time. The limit wasn't a rule. It was a suggestion from the version of me that set it.
What finally made a rule stick was making the break cost something real, and sending it somewhere that hurts.
Years ago, learning Korean, I set a daily goal and paid a friend $15 for every day I missed. More recently I promised that if I blew a deadline, $15 would go to an organisation I couldn't stand. I worked 12 hours straight that day.
Three things I took from that:
- The cost has to land at the moment of the decision. A weekly review doesn't help at 11pm with the phone in your hand.
- Somebody other than you has to count. If I have to confess my own failure, I'll find a reason not to.
- Where the money goes matters more than how much. Losing $15 is annoying. Giving $15 to people I disagree with is something I'll walk across the room to avoid.
I ended up building an Android app around this, called Punish (disclosure: I'm the developer). You pick the goal, the amount and the organisation: pro-gun people pick Everytown, anti-gun people pick the NRA. The phone does the counting. Keep the goal and you pay nothing; miss it and you pay it yourself. Closed beta: punishapp.com
But I'm more curious about the general idea. Has anyone here found a consequence that actually stuck, money or otherwise?