I once met a hooker who said "I'll do anything for 50 dollars". I replied, "Paint my house."

I gave her a paint bucket and told her to start with the porch.

She came back about an hour later and said "All done!".

I said, "Wow, that was fast."

She said, "Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at this. Oh and by the way, that's not a porch, it's a Mercedes."