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I think I'm gonna quit my job. (hexbear.net)
submitted 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) by to c/chat@hexbear.net
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I have never felt more useless and stupid than since I've started this job. I got this job because my academic job fell through and I didn't have any other prospects and I needed money fast. But every time I feel I've done progress in doing the most basic shit I get reprimanded because clearly I forgot something or I did something wrong. I thought It was part of the learning curve but after 6 months I have realized it's just that I'm shit at this job, and it's getting to me. I now get so anxious walking into work that my stomach spasms because I'm certain I will get reminded that I'm shit and that I'm worthless. The business owner keeps yelling at me and I can't take it anymore. I'm going through a depressive crisis and I can't handle taking care of myself beyond eating and basic hygiene. I don't have any other options lined up, I might go homeless, but I can't take it anymore.

I can't even go back to academic jobs because last time I had an adhd flareup and depression I couldn't finish a project so now I've been burned because nobody will ever vouch for me anymore.

Maybe I'll just die and be done with it.

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[–] 21 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

I know what it's like when the job sucks. But, and you really don't want to hear this, the job market is BRUTAL right now. Don't expect to find a new job fast, and maybe you'll even land a worse job.
Do seek a honest 1 on 1 conversation with your manager tho and be honest about how you feel about him yelling at you and how you don't feel like you're progressing. I obviously don't know your situation, and it very well might be that you are dumb, but it sounds more like the job isn't giving you the opportunity to educate yourself.

I do have AuDHD and some pretty bad executive dysfunction. It got worse the past few years and now that I am out of a job too I can barely even get myself to do anything, even the things I like doing my brain can't focus on for more than a few minutes right now.

And if you live in a country where jobless = homeless, things are going to be even tougher.

And finally, don't die. Life sucks, but staying alive is a act of rebellion. The people in power want you dead, so don't give 'em what they want.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

    I am aware of this, but I don't see any other way. My boss is also the owner, a narcissistic man, who will not take any criticism or feedback without thinking it's a personal affront, and who has not spared any opportunity lately to remind me how disappointed he is in me (I was supposed to carry other tasks other than the main part of the job, but I've had zero time and energy to do them because I have been shit at the main tasks, so I'm a double disappointment). So talking to him about the yelling and the feeling of inadequacy would be the same as quitting or spitting in his face.

    The job has given me plenty of opportunities where I've made mistakes and tried to learn from them, but clearly I have not learned enough or at all, since I still keep getting reprimanded essentially every day for some shit I should've known by now. What else am I supposed to think other than I'm useless and dumb, even if I think I'm not.

    I know the job market is shit, and I very likely have no other options, but I can't keep going like this. One of these days I'm gonna snap, and I'm so close rn.

    Living to spite shitty people doesn't motivate me to go through with the shit part of being alive.

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  • [–] 3 points 16 hours ago

    This sucks to hear. Sounds like you're in a downward spiral with no end in sight. Honestly I've no clue how to help you out. I wish I could say that you're a human and your life isn't defined by your job, I don't know if I even believe that. The way life is setup right now it's definitely hard to go thru it without a job. I would say don't give it your all at your job, but I know people who can't take that advice either...

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  • [–] 3 points 16 hours ago*

    I've gotten to the point of DGAF. Say something ONCE. If they take it on board great. If they don't just wait, well you said your piece. Just put it out there like Willy Wonka warning Veruca Salt. Then as time goes on maybe they start listening. Or don't. You just there for a paycheck...and health insurance.

    Yes sir. Great idea, but have you thought of this? That's it. Or just stop saying anything and let them find out. They're the decider, the big ego on campus. Let them stew and learn.

    That is how I've managed to stay sane. The more I say anything the more I make it difficult for myself. Then chuckle at the constant fuck ups they make. So many times I heard co-workers say "I told them they should, but they didn't" and see the place fuck-around

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