Agreed, though tbh even I found Matrix extremely confusing, buggy, and lacking features when I last tried it, I can't imagine how non-technical users would find it. I don't see it ever really becoming a massively widespread replacement (not that it needs to be, they're very much doing their own thing).

Stoat felt really clunky last time I tried it but that was way back when Discord first announced the age bullshit, so maybe I'll give it another look. Maybe I'm misremembering and/or it's changed since then, but I don't recall self-hosting and decentralization being on their roadmap?