Untitled. (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago* by to c/justpost@lemmy.world
 

It's normal for people to be violent toward me, and obtaining requisites to sustain being consistently causes people anger. People often don't tolerate me complaining, even to ask for help when in overwhelming pain. Sleeping hasn't been allowed in years. I feel sad. I'm worried I'll lose ability to speak by complaining.

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[โ€“] 3 points 3 days ago (4 children)

If any of what you're saying is true (and I don't mean to imply that I think you're making things up, it's just that what you're describing is so far beyond anything I've ever witnessed that I find it difficult to imagine), then it sounds like you are surrounded by some truely horrible people.

Your posts seem quite vague though. I don't know if you ever mentioned what country you're in, who these people are or how it's even possible for them to prevent you from speaking.

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  • [โ€“] [S] 1 point 2 days ago (3 children)

    I have said what city & country I live in somewhat recently. I've been giving specific instances of my life-partner being violent toward me, including censorship by destroying my laptop, though this isn't the only relevant violence I experience. I'm used to being gaslit when people are violent or when requesting for it to stop : (. I'm used to people being intolerant me of requesting help and getting banned. I've shared so much about myself online. I'm used to people questioning whether I'm human or real.

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  • [โ€“] 1 point 2 days ago (2 children)

    I think I'm not particularly knowledgable or qualified enough to give real trustworthy advice, but it really sounds like you're in a dangerously abusive relantionship and need to get as far away from your partner as possible.
    You do not need anyone's permission. You do not need to tell anyone where you're going. Forget about karma, your life is much more important. Find a shelter or a social worker or something like that.
    Do not stay with an abusive partner. I lost count of all the stories I've heard of people being murdered by that type of person.

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  • [โ€“] [S] 1 point 14 hours ago

    Karma is the law of cause & effect that generates the world & subjective experience. It's driven by intention and good to be conscientious of. I'm explaining & working through karmic entanglements.

    My life-partner goes through schizoaffective PTSD spells of anger. More normally, we're in a loving relationship & supportive of each other. He apologizes for anger afterward, and also apologized online for recent wrongdoings when I asked There's too much of the context to try explaining at once. He also identifies as being mildly on the autistic spectrum. It wouldn't necessarily be safer or less extreme with options of leaving. During worst cases, I resort to e.g. requesting ways to migrate by bike, which can be regarded as psychotic with the injury I have & lack of money. He's in a better mood & we watched a short film together. I think it would be easier if he was able to play video games. We were both homeless when we met. Thanks again for responding; it's ok if you don't want to continue talking about it; it can be a lot.

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