CW: suicide, drug mention, ableism, islamophobia

I've loved politics ever since I was spergy little 10-year-old watching the fucking Glenn Beck Program (don't ask). I grew to love sociology in my teen years, and I always knew a bunch of rare facts like how the Soviet Union ended the gender pay gap in Eastern Europe over 50 years ago, or how queer acceptance scales almost exclusively with HDI, but I was severely limited by the aforementioned Standard American Upbringing.

It was so goddamn easy and enjoyable to talk to people about politics back then, especially since I hated both US parties and was essentially a Bernie Bro. I was able to fluently relate to and discuss common grievances of people within the US and without while being proud of my (in comparison) vast knowledge.

However, in 2025 I got caught up in the Chinamaxxing craze and after a couple months of study (Governance of China my beloved) I sort of crossed a threshold and all of the liberal sophistry I had once loved became nails on a chalkboard.

I genuinely can't talk to people about politics anymore without wanting to blow my brains out or feeling like I'm smuggling fentanyl precursor in my asshole OR being treated like a schizophrenic islamist talking about the CIA and US war crimes.

TAKE ME BAAAAAAACK I WANNA BE A WESTERN CHAUVANIST AGAIN I WANNA FEEL SMART AND ENLIGHTENED. FUCK YOU LENIN I DONT WANNA READ ANY MORE THEORY, PLEASE

edit: guys, I promise I'm not actually a chud anymore, and I have the Kim Il-Sung x Osama Bin Laden self-insert yaoi fanfiction to prove it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (11 children)

Edit: I didn't fully read the last 2 paragraphs properly till @opiumfree@lemmygrad.ml pointed it out. I would consider reading first HW Edward's Labour Aristocracy, Mass base for social democracy.

=== Original comment:

Start writing. You're hitting the point where a level of passive (or not active enough) learning/understanding the world as is is no longer enough - ie your skillset is no longer being challenged.

When you write more deeply you start developing even more and it helps partially resolve the depressing pessimistic nihilism. Writing to Learn by Zinsser and Thinking in Systems by Meadows will help thinking move a long way (this is useful even if you have already started writing).

You will start seeing more the rational kernels of truth everywhere including the chalkboards (ie levelling up on dialectics) from which you will develop an even more fuller understanding of the world.

(And if you ever wanted to in the future you can then teach us mere mortals :) )

[Initially I wrote : "start writing longer form essays", but then I deleted it because the emphasise is on quality, that is deep thinking, as opposed to prioritising length. The priority here is to consider thinking deeply of each word and phrase before putting it down. And consider referencing. When you read or see a bad thing referencing it and other works to see what can you learn new that you didn't know or fully realise before. The more something vexes you the more you should consider it no matter the presumptions of knowing said topic fully.]

  • source
  • hideshow 11 child comments
  • [–] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    its not good to say you miss being a western chauvinist right now because as we speak the US military is on vacation to thailand en masse and you can assume whats happening. do you miss a time in your life where you would turn a blind eye to the US military going around and raping? because thats that ideology supports

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

    Yeah there's a few things wrong in those last two paragraphs (amongst which we should be careful how we use mental health adjectives, and also imperialist language) but I didn't want to elaborate too much: because don't want come across piling on unhelpfully, tone is sometimes hard to read and maybe I am giving leeway because it is lemmygrad

    With my original comment I was trying to focus on the doomerism aspect of the OP's post.

    (When you say "you" I'm guessing you meant the equivalent of "one" because I didn't say those things 😀 )

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] [S] 4 points 3 days ago

    I despise western chauvanism, and I see it everywhere now. I'm in the hard sciences right now, and you'd be suprised how woefully entrenched educated liberals still are, even after seeing multiple simultaneous genocides facitiltated by their oh-so progressive liberal parties. It is impossible to confront them and not see the disgust in their eyes.

    The Thailand thing has been happening at all 800+ US military bases since the fifties. It's kind of crazy people don't know about this stuff.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] [S] 4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    This whole post is selfcrit veiled in humor. I look at my former self with extreme contempt.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago* (2 children)

    Consider better words than "schizophrenic" and "islamist"; gain an understanding of a more accurate historical/scientific view of where they comes from to better realise their fuller definitons (ie we move beyond left-liberal notions of offense and thereby further develop a more sincere scientific worldview of emancipation)

    [None of us were born marxist-leninist, and we are all still learning]

    queer acceptance scales almost exclusively with HDI

    I'm deeply interested about this - do you have any recommended reading?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] [S] 4 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Queer acceptance scales very closely with HDI with a 5-20 year lag. The actual causes I believe are poverty reduction, achieved higher education, urbanization, and most recently, internet access, which are all major HDI contributors.

    (There's also a big contributing factor outside of HDI, which is queer legislation eg., sodomy laws, gay marriage, name/gender changing, surgery, hormone therapy. This more or less defines the boundaries of how much or little queer acceptance is allowed within a country for reasons I do not understand)

    There's some capitalist tricknology embedded in HDI because of its use of nominal GDP/capita rather than GDP(PPP)/capita, but it's very widely used and good enough for this application.

    By queer acceptance I'm talking about reduced hate crimes, and myriad trust-me-bro self-surveys, because it's a somewhat nebulous concept.

    There are of course some very obvious outliers. Rich, extraction based countries (UAE, Bahrain) have a lower than expected rate of acceptance. Poor, tourism based countries (Thailand, Cuba) have much higher acceptance rates than expected.

    There's also a very noticable East-West divide on which queers are accepted. Western nations strongly prefer cisgender homosexuals, and asian nations are conparatively more lenient when it comes to binary trans people.

    The HDI-queer connection makes a lot of sense dialectically. The further advanced capitalism becomes in a nation, the more thouroughly the vestiges of feudalism are liquidated until a breaking point is reached where they can no longer justify the rigid gender norms that engender queerphobias.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Or just journaling about things you've read to solidify knowledge could work.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 3 days ago*

    Journaling can help though I would consider it separate to the broader aim suggested here; the focus of deeper thinking going beyond revising or consolidating knowledge. It's the "discovery" - including what have you worked out beyond what you have read or seen such as maybe a more accurate or underlying principle or relationship - that is key here.

  • source
  • parent