I agree with Matrix Sucking, it needs very heavy work on both frontend and backend implementations to be taken serious, that's why I stopped pushing it to my friend groups, the people I convinced to join ended up needing features it just doesn't support yet, like an actual permission system instead of the numeric based > x style, or actual custom emote capability that isn't a patchwork decided by the software and the huge barrier of getting started. People don't want to have to pick through 30 different frontends to find one that works perfectly for a server.

Matrix works amazingly for the techies, or for people who want a limited IRC style feature set. But for for the casuals who are used to what discord provides, it just isn't a good competitor. It's complicated to get going, isn't unified and lacks features. Most people I have tried to suggest it have bailed due to that not long after joining.

XMPP being difficult though? I hard disagree. It's well maintained, it's super established, and for the most part unlike matrix whom decided frontend needed to make decisions on feature-sets, everything on XMPP is backend based. You have the same issues as matrix client wise but, for the most part client feature-sets are universal due to how long it's been out. I would push XMPP long before I go back to pushing matrix again. I have had better luck keeping/maintaining people on XMPP than I have with matrix.