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609 comments and not one normal person (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/shitposting@lemmy.today
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[+] -17 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (5 children)

Hey, the word "sexual" implies TWO mates. Because a different word exists for when one creature goes at it alone: "asexual." Learned about it in biology class. Asexual reproduction.

So if you think you're "generating sexual energy" every time you fuck your own hand, you're not. You're generating ASEXUAL energy. But humans can't reproduce asexually, so you're just spewing your horny protein juices everywhere for no reason but to release your own sexual frustration.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

    So do you have a degree in, like, anything? Or is this all just your own theorycrafting?

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  • [+] -8 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (2 children)

    There's been an erectile dysfunction epidemic the last couple decades ever since internet porn became available for everyone to carry around in their pockets, increasing & unprecedented numbers of men report being unable to perform sexually with humans but have no problem ripping out sessions to porn with their hand. If you need ME to be your sole source of info on this, then sure I'll go into hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt for a doctorate program at Harvard just so you'll believe ME, the only person in the world who you apparently care to get this news from. I'll send YOU the bill for my University debt.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35840678/

    The NIH might not be a preferred source for you, but the current understanding is that ED and masturbation is not correlated.

    From everything I can tell, the "no fap" movement is mostly from incels and conservative Christians.

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  • [+] -6 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

    Can't help being suspicious of who funds such "authoritative" studies. You remember the decades when the sugar industry funded all the studies regarding the obesity epidemic? Yeah, foxes guarding the henhouse.

    Warfare comes in many different forms: Hand-to-hand combat, Surface-to-air missiles, psychological warfare... Pornography & social isolation is a whole next level of warfare. Breaking humans down from the root at the individual level, reducing birthrates, thereby reducing population.

    Y'all just keep wanking though. They've got you right there where they want you. In the palm of your own hand.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 hours ago (1 child)

    Y'all just keep wanking though. They've got you right there where they want you. In the palm of your own hand.

    Who is this "they"? This is where these idiotic conspiracy theories always fall apart. The government? Big pharma selling ED pills? Satan?

    You're spewing hateful Christian Nationalist rhetoric aimed at shaming men. I'm not sure who you are trying to convince on Lemmy anyway. This seems like a troll or costly signaling.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 hour ago

    I'm not religious. Just logical. Witnessing a loneliness epidemic sweeping the earth since the internet began.

    "THEY" are everyone in positions that run corporations, & politicians, people in high positions of authority, including all the DAVOS type of people.

    THEY've learned how to tap into commoners' most vulnerable weaknesses in order to extract maximum amounts of money & power for THEMSELVES, incrementally changing the landscape of society to meet THEIR ultimate agenda.

    With maximum money & power, THEY can minimize the population, exterminating all the excess undesirable people like cockroaches.

    And with all the undesirable bits of the population finally gone, the wealthy will finally have this amazing planet all to themselves. All the beachfront properties & tropical paradises. All the ski resorts. All the lakes & waterfalls. All for THEMSELVES to enjoy with no more poor broken pathetic people overrunning everything.

    I'm not trolling, that would take too much mental gymnastics to spew such things without actually believing it. And I don't know what "costly signaling" means.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 hours ago*

    The thing is that the penis doesn't know if you're with someone or alone, which you can exploit to manipulate the sexuomanual energy field surrounding the penis once erect. It works like a type of sexual antenna, really, emitting its transmission independently of a receiver.

    Just ask anyone with a basic degree in sexuomancy.

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