Similar to what Came Apart at K-Mart said, this is all extremely context dependent, I think. Though I do feel for you considering yours, it sounds like a nightmare and I hope that somehow you can make it more manageable. Or hell, maybe you could rent it out as a rustic vacation getaway and that income can get you back to the city lol. I figure you've considered that but I know for myself I take every opportunity I can to go to cabins out in the woods for every vacation I have.

I really loved living on a farm out of town, but I think that my situation was quite different from yours. I moved into a place where a pretty good friend group was established amongst more liberal folks. Wasn't a commune per se, but a lot of social interaction. It was also in a beautiful area, and I had a job on the property that was secured; it was unpredictable and kinda meager but enough for someone like me to get by on. I miss the quiet and nature and sound of the coyotes at night and chasing the chickens around when they got out. But I was barely there a year so my outlook may be completely different had I stayed for a couple years or something. I could see it getting monotonous.

However, I would never recommend a city person move to the country unless they spend some time out there, and I don't mean a weekend. I think you're right to be annoyed by people who idealize the life, even if I enjoyed it. There are things you'd never think you'd miss, or things that you must learn or have on hand that I don't think even the most researched person would really think about.

For my own self satisfaction/I love making lists I'm just gonna put some things here that I think are essentials to know for other people reading this who are considering rural living. If this doesn't appeal to you don't do it. A lot of this has already been said but:

• research research research and visit the places you're considering. What is the history? What industries are there, demographics, has industry died out?
• General Stores in my experience are the places where people hang out and socialize. Go in the mornings and sit outside with your cup of coffee and eventually you'll end up talking to someone. I wouldn't try to live somewhere that doesn't have any kind of hub like that, or a restaurant/bar/grange hall within a 10 minute drive. There are pockets of rural areas that are more liberal/community minded than others but you really gotta look for it and of course it's not going to be exclusively liberal. If you can't stomach being apolitical in the company of other locals, or being around reactionaries, don't do it. In my experience it was pretty easy to avoid political talk but ymmv.
• You need a truck, or a vehicle with decent clearance that can tow a small trailer. I would never move out to the country without one or the other, and whether a truck is optional is dependent on how rugged the area is.
• You need a 22 rifle at least and know how to use it.
• You need a generator, probably a big expensive one in case you get snowed in for a couple weeks or power goes out otherwise.
• Speaking of getting snowed in, you need to stock up on non-perishables that will last you a couple weeks if you can.
• You need to make sure that your home has defensible space if you live in wildfire country. No trees 10 feet away from the house, clear dry brush or get some goats lol.
• Get your well water tested
• You gotta be okay getting dirty, rolling around in the mud and getting smelly. No one is gonna fix shit for you, you gotta do it yourself
• UNLESS you make friends with the curmudgeonly old dude with a heart of gold at the general store who you can trade favors with.
• If you aren't willing to shovel gravel in 80+ degree weather or chop a cord of wood or lug hog panel around or pound T-posts in the ground or clear brush and invasives out for half the summer, it's probably not for you. You'll get real tan and buff and feel real masculine and sexy though (regardless of gender). This can substitute for structured workouts, and it's all functional movement too which is important.
• Get a pocket knife, it'll come in handy and you'll feel real cool with it.
• Gotta learn to garden and preserve your own food.
• Wild animals will eat your garden.
• When you grocery shop you need to plan for two weeks to a month of food to avoid constant trips.
• You MUST be comfortable with improvising and doing without. When it comes to cooking, building/repairing shit, whatever. If you NEED convenience, you will not get it. Just don't.

I'd love to hear from other folks what they would add to this, too