Nothing in the world seems to help. I spent forever trying to find something to watch, but literally nothing felt good. Even when I eventually put something on it felt empty and I just ended up staring at the wall. I tried playing videos games, some of which I really love, and I turned them all off after a few minutes. I've tried other things too. Half the time I don't even eat. Time passes in slow motion, like some kind of purgatory. The worst is I can't even sleep. I have the next few days off and they're going to feel like an eternity. It actually scares me. How do you get through this? I'm desperate.
For what it's worth, I see a therapist weekly and I'm on a few different medications. This particular bout of sadness is caused by an especially painful rejection.
That's kind of a great story, though. At one of my old jobs I got to demolish a lot of things in a similar fashion. We took used furniture and resold it, and anything that didn't sell had to fit in the dumpster, one way or another.
I don't know what I'm trying to do with the sadness, honestly. It always felt like it was the one that had me, and it was a matter of when it wanted to let me go.
I hear a lot about processing grief but I've never fully understood that as a concept. I have grief. I understand why I have it. But what does processing it mean? If it's not something I can sit down and do with my hands, then I'm not sure. I spend a lot of time feeling it and having it. But that's more like a loop. Or I feel like a hamster in a wheel.