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[–] 72 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Scenario 1:

  • 2 bedroom apartment. $2000 a month.
  • I pay $1000 a month.
  • Roommate pays $1000 a month.
  • Split utilities between us both.

Scenario 2:

  • 2 bedroom apartment. $2000 a month.
  • I pay $2000 a month.
  • I buy bed making robot. $15,000-20,000
  • I pay bed making robot subscription. $500+ a month.
  • I pay for all utilities

I can see how Scenario 2 will be much better for me. Sign me up.

Side note: That fucking robot better have a handjob mode.

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  • [–] 28 points 5 days ago (2 children)

    I mean, if you like getting handjobs from an Indian dude remotely controlling your robot, sure I guess? Though expect it to do that thing where it looks like it shuts down and then starts up again as it goes through a bunch of Indian dudes who see the request and then quit their job on the spot. Just hope you don't get one of the ones that punches you first.

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  • [–] 14 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    HA!

    If I had a robot that was supposed to be AI, but actually run remotely from India, handjob mode would be the least of their concerns.

    I'd put a strap-on on it, dress it up like a farmer, I'd dress like a can of tuna fish, I'd cover myself in cottage cheese and roll on the ground in convulsions screaming "FUCK ME WILBER! FUCK YOUR TUNA CAN! FUCK IT GOOD"....

    ..and that would just be Monday.

    Those poor drivers would have PTSD when I'm done with them.

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  • [–] 19 points 5 days ago (2 children)

    The handjob mode is only available with a Premium subscription, or ad free in Premium Plus.

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  • [–] 11 points 5 days ago

    "Yeah, jobby-bot, keep going...wh... why'd you stop?"

    "Gig working all day and getting handies burns a LOT of your energy, even though you never leave the house, and that's why you need HELLO FRESH. Say anything at all to start your subscription today and mention the code HandyJ20 for 20% off!"

    "B...but..."

    "Hate a ruined finish? Subscribe to ULTRA PREMIUM PLUS for no ads, plus get pillow talk and therapy mode!"

    ":("

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  • [–] 10 points 5 days ago

    gonna be honest, i really, really liked the 498 square foot studio i had to myself for a couple years in Austin. it barely had a kitchen, but i cooked gourmet meals for myself and it's honestly the cleanest i've ever kept a place. I discovered i make mess to subconsciously mark my territory and hide my property, since growing up my brothers would always steal my shit and my parents would leave us to fight it out since they just wanted kids to do their chores for them.

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