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Nice hair but hate it when this happens.. (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 week ago by to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[–] 1 point 1 week ago (2 children)

I’ve considered that, and I agree in theory, but is that something that occurs on the level of sexual attraction?

In practice I feel like it’s a romantic quality, i.e. “since we are both non-binary, I feel we understand each other and I feel especially safe with you, and in fact this type of relationship is the only one I would want”,

I suppose in this manner you could easily be a gay demisexual enbie, but I wonder of the larger cohort of people who experience a more immediate sexual attraction

Again, not that it’s important to have this all ironed out neatly. I just feel like it hasn’t been ironed out neatly, you know?

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago* (1 child)

    That sounds closer to a non orientation based preference. Similar to people I know who only or preferentially date other trans people despite also being attracted to cis people aligned with their orientation. For many of them it's about not being comfortable displaying the level of vulnerability inherent to romance to someone who can't fully understand that aspect of them or who has that specific privilege over them.

    The way I'd personally frame it is probably saying that you're enby4enby, just taking from the T4T terminology

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago (1 child)

    Hey thank you so much for responding! I really like this concept in the language of non-orientation based preferences colliding with traditional descriptions.

    This is my first time ever seeing E4E considered, and you’re kind of blowing my mind! I think it works really well

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago

    In practice I feel like it’s a romantic quality, i.e. “since we are both non-binary, I feel we understand each other and I feel especially safe with you, and in fact this type of relationship is the only one I would want”,

    That does sound a lot like demisexual to me.

    If you call yourself homosexual I worry that some people might misinterpret it and try and figure out a binary gender for you, which is unhelpful.

    You could just say you're attracted to other enbies if someone asks? One word labels aren't always the most important thing.

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