The Onion and other satire w/ layers

theonion@sh.itjust.works

2,703 readers

1,964 active

99 users here now

For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.

redundancy, but not for its own sake

Human crafted content only please! If reporting a violation or suspicious content please provide evidence in the report or a direct message. Thank you.

Be nice. All instance rules apply.

Rules:

Be respectful. Everyone should feel welcome here.

No bigotry - including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia.

No Ads / Spamming.

No pornography.

Règles :

Soyez respectueux. Tout le monde doit se sentir le bienvenu ici.

Pas de bigoterie - y compris le racisme, le sexisme, le capacitisme, l’homophobie, la transphobie ou la xénophobie.

Pas de publicités / Pas de spam.

Pas de pornographie.

founded 2 years ago

moderators

can@sh.itjust.works

Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@piefed.ca to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

29 comments fedilink hide all child comments

WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

next test he implements will be butt clinch strength. because we know butt clinch strenth has been declining in the male population because of all the gay frogs we keep shoving up our butts.

gotta keep those asses TIGHTLY CLOSED. gotta prevent those gay frogs from getting up in there boys!

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

lemmy:	0.19.20
mlmym (mschae):	26.3.4