theres no way im going to start earning my own money bc abusive mom not letting me get a job and insists on me going to college. before you say im lucky to be supported through college just know that she basically admitted that this is her way of delaying my independence because she said i can get a job at mcdonalds afterwards and she doesnt really care about my actual career prospects. her way of abuse is sleep deprivation and verbal abuse and parentification so im convinced this will just be another 4 years of barely getting by because i have to study on 5 hours of sleep and also take care of my siblings for some reason. ive barely graduated high school because i had to deal with this.

my former therapist also agreed that my home environment impedes my studying. my former (child) therapist which dropped me btw bc my mom would bring me to sessions 30 minutes late and not let me take public transport there.

right now im just gonna focus on making the most of it and being independent atleast in this process. she insists on coming with me to enroll (she has a habit of loudly berating me in public btw) but im not gonna do that and i will go enroll on my own. it seems freedom is never gonna come.

and the worst thing of all is she expects me to be visibly happy through all this and just 20 minutes ago in the conversation about how shes not gonna let me work she kept asking why im not happy and to be more enthusiastic.